Toy Archaeology: Sex on Wheels

Posted: December 20th, 2009 | Filed under: The room flickers blue and white |

I didn’t save many objects from childhood, but my Mother did box up some toys that she thought my kids might want someday. Turns out, I did in fact spawn, and now some objects I haven’t seen in decades are kicking around underfoot.

Among these is a little die-cast 1:64 scale van (I would have called it  a “Matchbox Car” as a kid, committing what trademark owners refer to as genericide.) I have no recollection of obtaining this thing. The side is emblazoned “Super Van” and I probably thought it was Superman’s van.  I remember being very fond of the large windows, and I believe the design probably found its way into some of my drawing.

Looking at it today, I’m pretty certain the DC comic book hero would have had nothing to do with this vehicle, which features a large round bed in the center of the passenger compartment. So I googled around a little - and what an odd story I found.

Turns out that this little toy is a replica of Vandora the Super Van, a custom van created for the 1977 film  Supervan. The movie revolves around an annual road race for custom vans called the Freakout. (Also featured is a wet T-shirt contest, in which the actual Charles Bukowski can be seen hugging a contestant.)

The film’s star is the van, which is billed as a solar-powered vehicle. Some corporate types apparently covet this vehicle, though I haven’t seen the film and so I can’t tell you why. Someone has edited a montage of this gem of the seventies:

The more interesting thing to me is the van’s provenance - apparently it started off as the Love Machine, created by famous customizer George Barris (creator of the television Batmobile and other amazing cars). The only account of the Love Machine I can find is in a Google-scanned version of Popular Science, in which we see a caption and image that portrays the vehicle as designed for “playboys.” Clearly, bedding is the idea here - though with the glass I imagine one would have to park in the woods to get any sort of privacy.

Barris remade The Love Machine as Super Van for the movie; a disco ball replaced the chandelier, we see some exterior color changes, the addition of an 8-track player and headphones, and a bit more angularity in general. From internet footage, my favorite thing about the vehicle is the split-screen effect of the windshield viewed from inside. The vertical division down the front turns the road into a Rorschach image.

And then there is simply the amazing evolution of a dream car from a space of sexual leisure to a space of fantasized energy conservation and technological progress. Fantastic. “Who stole my sexual revolution?” Um, yeah, the electric car took it.

Vandora seems to be alive and well - for sale actually - and in good restored shape. I’m tempted to put the little toy on ebay but it’s not really worth it, and I like the idea of the van’s all-purpose passenger compartment continuing to transform in the imaginations of little brains.

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